Monday, November 14, 2011

Looking for Time!

It's been thirty two years and I still have not found time.Well,if not thirty two,it's been at least twenty years and I'm still looking for this agile son of a magician who keeps doing some disappearing acts himself!I remember while at school,I loved to dance.I can even recall having joined some classical dance classes.But not for long!You see,I never found time for them.My schedule,even as a schoolgirl,was so packed,that time always evaded me.

So I put the dance classes somewhere at the back of my mind and decided to get back to them when I would find this incorrigible monster.However,the hunt was never easy.While at my graduation I spent hours reading Marx,Kamala Das, Austen and the complexities of the wars that split nations-not to mention the "stressful" sittings in the college canteen discussing friends,politics,movies and foes---all in a single breath!Although long sessions of gossip and fun certainly were not time consuming,I still failed to return to the performing art that ruled over my heart and dent me faint reminders...
"Hello!Are we still friends?"
Somehow,I never found,yes you guessed it right-the master of all mankind-and so I could never take those calls.

From college to the free will days of my PG.With love for poetry becoming resurgent in those days of vibrant  literature classes,lazy hours spent spinning tales or simply talking of moonwalk,who had the seriousness to grab time by its tail and scream out loud,"Hey!Wait you impostor!My dance classes are still undone."

And so goes the cliche ---time flies.It did.When I took the plunge and decided to earn my bread,needless to say,my work took its toll on me.Post wedding,there was never time to look back.Being a mother to two or could I say three children,leaves me with a few minutes to myself each day.The mind boggling demands of my son's school coupled with the social commitments of my husband's work along with a toddler craving for attention all the time....I hardly find a few hours in months together to catch up with near and dear ones.As for the dance classes-well I guess the gestation period is yet not over!I'm still looking for time.  

Sunday, November 13, 2011

Agony of War

The shadow of Kalinga lingers on.
Crippled bodies
lie in unknown battlefields.
Neighbours and companions 
lost in time 
Empathy turns to prying eyes!

Pain and hunger,
The Earth in peril.
Killed in war?
The Nation's immortal sons
with their mortal remains long forgotten!

She weeps silent tears
and counts the lines of vanity
on a vain human visage.
The egoist,the egotist-
bask in the glory of
futile human battles.

To nothingness we fall prey
We win pieces of land
and lose ourselves this way.
The day draws near when
disaster struck shall we see 
only her stand strong.....
She is the Agony of War.

Friday, September 9, 2011

The Fear of Failure

I bid goodbye to formal education almost ten years ago.Though I took up teaching as a profession,I however,remained alienated to the regular process of memory tests namely examinations.But not for long.The profession of my husband has been such that in the seven years of our married life,we have been inundated with exams,score cards and the like.At this hour when I sit down to pen my thoughts,my husband sits in another corner of the country,trying to work at his memory skills at an age of 31 years.It is rather surprising that at a time when the CBSE too is taking a step forward to disband the rote method of learning,a leading organization continues to give credits for the ability to memorize facts rather than to the ability to apply knowledge.With due apologies,I understand that I am ill equipped to speak on the subject,knowing my very own husband's passionate stand in the case.Therefore,to avoid many a raised brows,I digress from the topic,and come to the idea behind this piece of writing.
As I already mentioned I have seen many examinations in the past seven years.And that brings me to my point-the fear of failure.Of all  the problems that cloud the human mind in the turbulent times of today,I feel it is the fear of failure (a term I borrow from my husband),that is the most disturbing.
The desire for success reigns supreme in the minds of men.While there are still many who fight to make both ends meet,a lot of us get up each morning dreaming of bigger successes in life.While I maintain that it is wonderful to dream and even better if you can realize them all ,its absolutely fine not to be able to meet targets sometimes.Even if that means not being able to meet the rising expectations of peers or of your times.Yes,it's important to accept failure.Only then can we overcome it.Why,I remember failing in an important subject and taking it so seriously that I simply gave it up for the rest of my life-a subject that my sister thought was so challenging ! On another occasion a close associate refused to take phone calls for months together after failing an exam while another refused to take the plunge from the fear of facing a world insensitive to failure.There are several other cases-of those who toil in closed rooms but are scared to admit the same due to the "what if" factor.Yes,what if I fail???
The dilemmas,the vacillations are all understood but what we need to tell ourselves is thatsitting back due to the fear of failure would have kept us all from many path breaking inventions and stupendous records.Its important to judge yourself  as you know yourself and not as others see you.I wonder if Incy Wincy,the diligent spider had known of the prying eyes watching it,would it have given up on all the effort because it was being labelled futile?
Life,they say,is a series of tests that we must pass each day.I feel,we only burden ourselves by adding on to the ones already planned by God for us.Nonetheless,the quest should go on with a hope to receive the best but with the courage to face the worst.The fear of failure needs to be overcome with the valour of the mind-for that is where our victory lies.

Tuesday, August 23, 2011


The colours of life
Vintage,a spring,a plethora grown.
 Hues and shades
 Brightness galore,
 The colours of life 
 yet unknown.
Subtle dark
 a sunset glow,
Ceaselessly moments flow.
Bliss and Erebus in a row,   
The colours of life 
Forever unknown.